Please join me. I train people to overcome fear to become effective, courageous leaders and committed developers of character for the sake of others. I wasn’t taught; I was dynamically trained in courageous behaviors by Warren Bennis, General H. Norman Schwarzkopf, and many other gutsy men and women to beat my fears and be a person who tries to help others in meaningful ways.
I’ve been privileged to work in and across fifty professions and industries, from small businesses to Fortune 100s, government agencies, police and fire departments and the military to non-profits and struggling start-ups. With my wife Diane, I’ve written eight books. The Courage Playbook (Wiley 2022) is the keystone work. Smithsonian Books published With Schwarzkopf: Life Lessons of The Bear (2015), which recounts how a world figure, and the global master of results, mentored me to improve as a family-based leader of character instead of as a self-absorbed seeker of wealth, status, and power.
This blog aims at how to gain courage by practicing — and training others in — the forgotten dynamic skills of Courageous Leadership and Character Development. Courage is the real deal, the one, central, human ability that makes all that we value possible. Fear, on the other hand, disables all that we love. Courage, and its absence, critically impact every aspect of our lives, work, families, communities, Nation, and world. Without it, our limitations can define us. With it, we effectively overcome our fears, solve problems, lead, and help others. Products of courage include improved relationships, health, cheerfulness, helping others, leadership, teamwork, grit (perseverance to task), resiliency in face of stress, upgraded results, contentment, inner happiness, rest, sleep, and flossing.
The absence of courage creates self-serving, fear-driven, reactive management and failed leaders. I’ve long seen fear and conflict avoidance blow up values, cripple relationships, shatter families, and break the spines of organizations. As an author, I know how words can instruct, heal and redeem. I know the huge price borne by people who don’t systematically practice courage the way athletes, musicians, and Infantry officers daily practice their demanding craft.
I write what I’ve lived. Changing my fearful behaviors led me to advocate leadership that transforms, courageous communication that solves problems, gutsy relationship building that improves results and courageous conflict resolution that advances unity of purpose. On this site, beginning in 2022 write about courage and ethics. The blog will be about what’s central in our lives. This includes writing: storytelling is our oldest method to convey morals and character.
We like to think that only people with formal titles are leaders. It’s not true. We’ll explore how every-day interactions, regardless of rank, provide endless opportunities to lead courageously. We’ll discuss the Missing How’s to overcome fear and lead effectively. I will learn from you. I’m excited to open this conversation with you as we develop and grow a courageous community. I’ll be posting about three times a week. You can subscribe via RSS or e-mail.
Biography
I’m an American who came from a poor, broken immigrant social group. YMCA boxing coaches coached and mentored me to live rightly despite my many fears. I’ve worked on courageous leadership and character development — initially out of a need for survival — for most of my life. I’ve been a corporate chief operating officer, senior VP, corporate chief learning officer, government senior executive, senior executive for legal education for the State of California, lead trainer of California’s prosecutors, U.S. Senate ethics investigation team leader, a training institute’s deputy director, supervising deputy district attorney, acting deputy attorney general, university assistant dean, Army boxer, paratrooper, drill sergeant, officer and West Point’s first Chair of Character Development. I have been a four-time whistle blower.
I became a novelist with best-sellers China Boy (Penguin 1991), Honor and Duty (Knopf 1994), Tiger’s Tail (Knopf 1996) and No Physical Evidence (Random House 1998). Each was autobiographical fiction centered on a central spine of moral courage. Chasing Hepburn (Random House 2002) was a memoir of my parents’ lives in China and their hazardous flight to America. Diane, my wife of 43 years, and I co-authored the best-seller and award-winning, Courage: The Backbone of Leadership (2006), a book used by corporations, business schools, service academies, and the Army. I’ve written for Time and Encyclopedia Brittanica, spoken on CNN, CBS This Morning, PBS’s Fresh Air and the VOA. I’ve been taught valuable lessons by strong, courageous and wise mentors. I’ll share what I’ve learned.
Bios tend to sound like economic resumes. Aren’t they really instead, moral journeys with key relationships, moral lessons, helping others after personal reversals, marked by change-inducing dramatic events?
Hi Gus.—and Diane…
We love hearing from you each year, and this yr. is no exception! I want to write a real letter, but stupidly lost your Texas address. As a native Texan, I have much to say about your time in Salado. I have been there, and love my memory. Please give yourselves hugs from Jim and me, and send your address, and e-mail. I will try to put both in a safe place. We are still here in Burlngame, getting older, and fairly well. Jim does have some issues, but good for 88 yrs. old. Miss you both still–take care.
Fondly & with Happy New year wishes.
Gayle and Jim
Gus, Chris Scrimgeour from 24th Ave. Sorting through my parents slides I found several of you taken in 1964 before you left for West Point. I would like mail/email/post them to you. Interested?
Gus…. Mike Bressler here, a fellow classmate who you may not remember. I came across your name several times and wish to congratulate you on your life and splendid achievements. I have done some writing myself and am now following your writings closely. Best of luck on all things you are a fine friend.
Michael (256-698-2312)
Hi, Michael,
How goes your writing, family, and life?
All best to you,
Gus
Gus: My second book will be published soon. It is about a North Korean concubine who escapes the enemy (Japanese) forces by going to Hawaii as a picture bride. No one comes for her at the docks. A kind Hawaiian man takes her and her young son to Blood Town. The man, Kane Koa, has the land decreed to him by rpyalty because he tried to save a princess during her childbirth at the Birthing Stones. Please endorse me with a few words..
Cynthia Chung Aki of The Golden Lotus Fdn. will endorse as will author William Burnhardt,
Mahalo,
Daisy Chun Rhodes
(Long ago, you and your family came to my talk on the first Koreans to Hawaii
at Colorado College)
Gus, Greetings from tampa florida! I am still at the University of tampa and I’m interested in the possibility of your coming g to speak again – it’s been 10 years believe it or not! Please contact me at deirdre.dixon84@gmail.com and let’s start the conversation! Look forward to hearing from you! Deirdre
Gus, do you have a PO box that I could send a letter to you?
hello Mr Lee,
have a small question re pg 32 “Honor & Duty” and ‘King of Beast Barracks, Mr Arvin.”
any time spared most appreciated,
dave d (HHC 18th Engr Bde ’69-’70)
Hi Gus and Diane. We returned home from Palm Springs last week. Have read some of the articles re your life in Wikipedia etc. WOW! Had I not met you I wouldn’t have believed that one person could accomplish so much. I have misplaced your business card. If you have mine could you please email me. Thanks
Dyck Regier
I read China Boy when it first came out…then Honor & Duty. I sent them to Optah, but didn’t hear. Why hasn’t someone made a movie of ur books?
Hello Gus,
My whole class read your book about courage in our entrepreneurship courage class. It was the first book that held my attention the entire time for a while. You truly have a gift for writing and more importantly a gift for inspiring others and I thank you for that. Keep doing what you love.
Parker
Gus – Rich Knowles here, your roommate at Davis for a year. Looks like you have done great. We said you had the gift of a golden tongue, looks like you have put it to good use both for others and for yourself. Hope all is going well for you.
Mr. Lee Thank you for your story on snap judgement. I cried and felt that pain. Im Native American and i grew up in schools where my sister and I were the only minorities and when we had to move back to our home town Natives there made fun of us for being “non-Native”. Lucky enough we were big girls and didnt have to fight but those words made deep scars. You story inspired me to look to my self worth and not to forget it.
Hello Gus,
Daniel here in Las Vegas just heard your Chinaboy story on Snap Judgement. The theme of courage resonated with me. Thank you
Dear Gus, Just finished reading China Boy. I love you. Tell your wife not to worry, I am too young for you. Just applied for medicare. Bullys . Stand up to them. Sometimes words are enough in my life as a white nurse. Other times, I just want to smack them upside their heads. I am sorry that you had to smack and get smacked. I am eternally fascinated with immigration and emigration and cultural shit. Wishing you and yours all the best. You make my heart soar. J9
I just heard the little boxer story Omg my heart broke but my soul soared to hear the outcome what an amazing story …what an awesome human being !!!!! God bless you!!!
When I read your first book, China Boy, as a teenager it was one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking things I’d ever encountered. In college I wrote my senior thesis on the commonalities between your book, Richard Wright’s Black Boy, and Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane.Your experience finding your voice became a driving force for me as I decided to pursue a career in law, and later abandoned that dream for what I felt was the higher calling of education. In your books you describe a societal need- children, especially young men who are largely abused, forgotten, and abandoned. And you describe a solution- adults who are able to identify and nurture a strength in those young people and help them grow into someone courageous.
Outside of my faith and my family, I don’t think any living individual has shaped me into the person I am now more than you have. Your books, especially Honor and Duty, have made me determined to be a better person and I cannot thank you enough for that.
Just finished “With Schwarzkopf” and am greatly moved by your accomplishments and by the life of my hero The Bear. Thanks for writing it and entertaining me.
Hi Gus. I just read “Chasing Hepburn” and was overwhelmed at the story of your mother’s and sisters’ escape from China. What incredible courage, especially that of your sister Elinor. Can you provide an update on your sisters’ lives? I hope that they are happy and healthy.
Gayle Comstock
Thank you for sharing your life experiences. I was born in Honolulu, August 8, 1945. We are about the same age; I being one year older. I am 4th generation Chinese American. My great-grandfather came to Honolulu in the late 1800’s and later brought a wife to Honolulu. Two sons were born in Honolulu, my grandfather, J. Y. Choy, a bank teller with 10 children, and my granduncle, J. K. Choy, a Columbia graduate, ultimately a bank manager in SF Chinatown. The family went back and forth to Shanghai until 1937 when the war broke. A few of my uncles and aunts were born in Shanghai. My father and his brother who were being educated in Shanghai came home. We all were born in the Territory of Hawaii that ultimately became a state and were American citizens by birth.
But your life and our lives were so different. Although we lived in Palama, a poor neighborhood in Honolulu, I didn’t share the bullying that you did. We had great neighbors of different ethnic and economic backgrounds. We shared and helped each other. If you had extra food or clothing, you shared with your neighbors.
The feeding of our large extended family was augmented by my Popo’s brother who managed a food storage facility; we were given past-sell date food – frozen biscuit dough and chicken pot pies, crates of apples and eggs, etc. A family relative, mother-in-law of an uncle, brought a 100 pound bag of rice every New Year. My Mom’s classmate was a butcher in our neighborhood.
We were fortunate. Palama Settlement, a community resource a few blocks away from our home, offered dental care, swimming lessons, music lessons, basketball court and softball field, etc. The public library and Bishop Museum were in walking distance and often a weekly destination. The boys in our neighborhood played and went to school together. My brothers and I went to a public elementary school and later to a private school where my father and his brothers had attended.
Living in Honolulu did not include the racial problems which you may have experienced. Since my family were not plantation workers, we didn’t experience the harsh racial prejudice that you experienced. I only recently got interested in the Asian American Experience by watching PBS. I have read, because of the COVID-19 pandemic, dozens of books on the Asian American Experience, including Chasing Hepburn and China Boy.
I have written a Choy Family History for the family and memories of my childhood for my son and nieces.
Enough said.
With much appreciation,
Brian Choy
I am writing via “StoryWorth” a set of short responses to questions for my family, and my current question, “what are books that really made a difference to you as an adult” led me back to your work. I picked up China Boy when it was released, and followed all of your fiction, and the autobiographical descriptions which provide cultural context of the life and times were amazingly similar to my own, growing up in Oakland in the 1950s. I also joined the USAF (during Vietnam) as an officer, so I sympathize with the back stories of military culture you portray. Thanks for those books
But I didn’t realize that you also wrote about leadership. So I’m going to pick up that one soon; it sounds a little like Stephen Carter’s Integrity, which I used in courses I taught in Education Administration, in a former career.
Dear Gus, Paul and I are here in Woodstock, VT and had a conversation with a couple at dinner who were from SF., same age with similar history as yours growing up in SF. Of course your name came up, your book China Boy, and our connection to you. We think of you, have read your books, and recall fond memories of Pennsylvania Place Apts., UCD roommates and neighbors, and all the crazy times. Susan Chamberlin
Hi Gus: I heard you on NPR this weekend. but only caught about the past 30 minutes of your interview. I immediately ordered “China Boy”, and am anxiously awaiting it’s arrival! Thanks for sharing your story.